


to love you every day

by skamz



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: (honestly that's pretty much it), Fluff, M/M, SKAM Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 15:44:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13193280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skamz/pseuds/skamz
Summary: Advent calendars are nice, but the ones you buy at the store are not really what Even wants to offer Isak. And so he decides to make one for him instead.





	to love you every day

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yllawonders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yllawonders/gifts).



> oh boi posting here really does make me nervous. this is very fluffy. and cheesy. like, idk how many times i've put my hand on my forehead and said "this is so cheesy". maybe like 48 times, who knows!! 
> 
> a huge thank you to the secret santa mods for organizing this whole thing and for being so supportive and great. you guys did a wonderful job 
> 
> and ally!! i'm so happy to finally be able to give you this. i hope you'll enjoy it, and if you do, it's all that matters, really. thank you for being such a kind soul, and may the upcoming year be kind to you and treat you well 

  **November 24th**

 

Even is off that afternoon, and when Isak comes home from school about an hour after him, he manages to convince him to go shopping for a Christmas tree.

"Can't we go tomorrow?" Isak is sprawled out on their bed, feigning exhaustion and Even huffs out a small laugh. He sits on the edge of the bed and takes Isak's hand, gently squeezes it.

"It'll be colder tomorrow, and the shop will be busier, and trust me, you'll be so glad that we just get to stay in all day," Even argues, before standing up. "Come on, baby."

Isak lets out a dramatic sigh, like he's just agreed to perform a humongous task, but Even still notices it, the little smile that pulls the corner of his lips upward.

It makes him smile, too.

At the store, they walk in the aisle where the decorations are, and for a moment Even is about a meter behind Isak. They've been together for almost a year now, but from time to time, Even still finds it a little surreal to think that this is his life now—him and Isak. That right now, for example, he could just make a step forward and he'd be right by Isak's side again.

Isak suddenly stops walking, twists around and faces Even. He's got that playful look on his face. "Are you checking me out?" he teases, stepping toward him and pulling on one of the strings of Even's hoodie a little, twirling it around his finger. 

Even smirks and wiggles his eyebrows. "Always."

As they wait in line to pay, Even notices the advent calendars, and he's about to reach out for one, but then he decides against it. His eyes find Isak instead, who's holding a box of ornaments in his hands, slightly swaying from side to side to the rhythm of the Christmas music playing in the store. He placed two rolls of smil chocolates on top of the box, just because he felt like it, just because "One of the perks of growing up is getting to buy sweets whenever you want, Even, you gotta take advantage of that."

"So you're getting two?"

"I'm getting two because I knowyou'll end up wanting some, and I want a full one for myself, so I'm just gonna get you one as well."

And god. Even loves him.

He glances back at the advent calendars and yeah, no, Isak deserves something a little more special than that.

 

**November 25th**

 

It's a quiet day; it's a good day.

They decorate their little Christmas tree, which they placed in the corner of their dining area, because it's where it fit the best.

"Our little tree, in our little home," Even almost sings the words.

"Our little tree, in our little home," Isak agrees with a nod, before he wraps his arms around Even's neck, leans in to press a kiss to Even's lips. Even sighs, and Isak licks into his mouth.  

But then he's stepping back, breaking the kiss too soon, and Even opens his eyes only a few seconds later. Isak keeps slowly moving back, wearing a little smirk and Even squints his eyes, intrigued. And then Isak raises his hands, and he's holding each ends of a garland.

When he pulls on them, Even realizes that he had wrapped the garland around his back.

"Gotcha," Isak says, triumphant, like he's just so proud of himself.

He pulls on the ends again, and Even can't help but laugh as he shakes his head. Isak isn't pulling hard enough to  _actually_ force Even toward him, but Even plays along, steps toward Isak until their chests are pressed together again. Even cups both of Isak's cheeks, whispers "Gotcha" as he leans in to capture his lips.

And they make out without interruption this time, next to their little tree, in their little home.

 

**November 26th**

 

The idea came fairly easily to Even.

Even gets ideas and these ideas come with images. He can already picture this one: a little envelope for each day leading up to Christmas, with a number signifying the date on it. And a note inside, and a little treat, for each day. He pictures Isak enjoying it, and hopefully that’s more of an accurate prediction than just his imagination.

Isak falls asleep before he does, and for a minute Even simply watches him, watches what the dim street lights peaking through the curtains allows him to see. He looks beautiful and peaceful, his lips slightly parted, and Even is—

He's filled with quiet joy at the thought of doing this little thing for him.

Isak deserves something like that, he does. And so, so much more.

 

**December 1st**

 

Even only comes home in the evening that day, but before he left, he placed the little envelope on the countertop of their kitchen, along with everything needed to make Isak's favorite hot chocolate.

> _So, you're probably frowning a little right now, wondering what this is_
> 
> _This is going to be sort of like your own customized advent calendar. Basically, each day, you'll find one of these notes, along with a little something :)_
> 
> _Today is a cold day, and I already can't wait to be done with my shift and be home with you later, but in the meantime you're getting a cup of your favorite hot chocolate :)_
> 
> _It's really easy to make, you'll see :_
> 
> _First of all, heat up some milk in the small saucepan_
> 
> _(By the way, this can be used to heat up water to make tea)_
> 
> _(You know, instead of using warm tap water)_
> 
> _(Hey. Don't roll your eyes)_
> 
> _(I know you just did)_
> 
> _(Okay, and now you're smiling, aren't you?)_
> 
> _Okay, back to the hot chocolate now:_
> 
> _Add the chocolate and salted caramel into the milk, stir, and when it's all melted, you can poor it into the mug. Add the little marshmallows on top, and enjoy :)_
> 
> _Love you baby_

 

**December 2nd**

 

Isak loves black licorice flavored candies, which Even doesn't understand for the life of him. He'll buy a bag of assorted jelly bellies, and reach for the black ones first, and complain about how there's always too few of them.

("There were three in this entire bag, Even.  _Three."_

"Well, thank  _god_." Even scrunches up his nose, pretends to be absolutely grossed out.)

There's this candy store not too far from Elias’ place, and he stops by it before heading home. They sell sweets in bulk and one of the candies they offer, which Even notices from outside the windows is...black licorice jelly bellies.

He shakes his head as he fills a small bag, but smile to himself nonetheless when he thinks of the fact that Isak will actually really like this. 

> _Is there a special gene that makes people enjoy these? You know, how you told me about the gene that makes people hate cilantro? Do enlighten me, Isak_
> 
> _In the meantime, enjoy_
> 
> _I love you baby (and your sometimes awful taste in candy)_

Isak pops two candies into his mouth. "This one's not about genes," he says. "I just happen to like candies that are great." He moves closer and closer to Even, but Even dodges his kiss.

"I'm so not kissing you right now."

Isak makes a sound that's half-groan, half-whine, burring his fingers into his hair, and Even sort of can't help but melt.

"Hey," he protests. "Don't look at me like that."

Isak shrugs innocently, but he's still  _pouting_  and, honestly, that pout is one of Even's biggest weaknesses in the whole entire world and it really (really) is impossible to not want to kiss him right now.

And so he does, and when he licks into his mouth, he mostly tastes sweetness, from the candy and from Isak. Isak gently pulls at his hair, breathing through his nose, appreciative sounds reaching Even's ears. Even is pretty sure he's making some of those, too.

"Not that bad, eh?" Isak pants.

Even smiles against his lips. "Not that bad."

 

**December 3rd**

 

> _I still can't believe you’d never heard of bath bombs, Isak. But now you’ll actually get to try one :)_
> 
> _By the time you read this, I’ll be on my way home_
> 
> _I hope today was a good one. You're amazing, you know that?_
> 
> _Love, Even_  

"One day, we'll have a huge house, and a huge bathtub that will  _actually_ be big enough for the two of us."

Even chuckles and places a kiss to Isak's neck. He moves his fingers through the water, creating tiny waves as he does. He begins running his fingertips up and down Isak's chest, a line along his sternum, random patterns around his heart. Isak sighs and lets his head rest against Even's shoulder. And then, Even cups some water with his hand, and he lets it fall, mesmerized by the way it flows down Isak's skin.  

"For sure, you'll, like, become this hotshot doctor who makes so much money," he says, his hand now resting on Isak's stomach. "Sooo much money."

Isak huffs out a laugh, turns his head and looks up at Even. "And you'll make these movies that break records and earn awards. So much money, Even."

Even smiles a little at that. He's not exactly sure he'll ever actually earn any money making movies. It's just not—

It's not really something he dares to let himself dream about these days.

Isak places his hand on top of his, strokes the side of it with his thumb. "You're amazing too, you know that? The most amazing." There's this slight eagerness in his tone, like he not only wants to convey how much he believes those words, but also wants Even to believe them. "And, I mean, our legs don't fully fit in here but," he shrugs, gives Even's hand a gentle squeeze. "It's quite perfect anyway, I think."

Something tugs at Even's heart, and he kisses Isak's temple.

Yeah.

It really is quite perfect anyway.

 

**December 4th**

 

Even had gotten the idea a few nights ago when Isak had been going through the pictures on his phone, while he had been reading an article on Oscars predictions, mentally listing all the movies he had to see before then.

"Look, I love this one," Isak had said, showing him the picture on his screen. It had been a picture of them, Isak hugging Even from behind, arms wrapped around his shoulders, genuine smiles on both of their faces.

"Send it to me?"

Even had gotten the picture printed and framed.

He goes to pick up Isak after school, and it's only when Isak sits down at the table as he's about to start working on a lab report that he notices it on top of the dresser in their room.

"Hey, is that—"

Isak stands up and walks toward the dresser, leans in to take a closer look. And then he's looking at Even who's sitting on the bed, and he has this huge grin on his face now, and Even wishes he could take a picture of it, and frame it as well.

Isak opens the little envelope.  

> _What's a home without family pictures? And, I mean, just aesthetically speaking, I think any wall would look better with our faces on it, don't you think?_
> 
> _I love you (and your face)_  

He half-pouts, half-smile and he seems to read the note over and over again, before he places it on the dresser. He heads toward the bed, lies half on top of Even. "I love you too, and your face,” he sighs. "So much."

 

**December 5th**

 

Even is in love with Isak's mind. There's this saying that people don't listen, that they rather wait for their turn to speak, but when Isak shares his thoughts with Even, paying attention to what he has to say comes naturally to him.

He could listen to him forever.

Isak is so incredibly smart. He's a lover of science and he knows rules of physics and understands chemical reactions and the function of body parts. But he's also very much a dreamer, and he loves to think of theories that haven't been proven yet, loves to speculate about what the universe has in store, and what humanity has yet to discover. There's wonder and innocence and optimism in the way he speaks of the world and its endless opportunities and Even is glad—he's so  _so_ glad to see that everything that life has thrown at him throughout the years hasn't turned him cold, hasn't stopped him from dreaming.

Even places a small notebook and a pen in Isak's backpack. 

  

> _When I listen to you talk, I just think you have the most wonderful thoughts. I think it could be great for you to write them down when you feel like it, for you to be able to keep a trace of them. Never doubt just how great you are, Isak_
> 
> _I love you to the moon and back_

 

**December 6th**

 

When he's outside, Isak pretty much always has his hands in his pockets. He has the bad habit of always forgetting his gloves. When he and Even wait for the bus, he'll sometimes put his hands in Even's pockets, arguing that they're much warmer than his. He won't ask for permission, because he doesn't have to. And when they'll get home, the first thing he'll do when they take their coats off is to slide his hands under Even's shirt, place them on his back where the skin is so soft and warm according to him. And Even will squirm a little, but he'll let him, and Isak's face will fit perfectly into the crook of his neck, and he'll sigh contentedly.

But today Isak goes to school and comes back home by himself, and he won't have Even as his personal human hand warmer.

Even places the mittens and the note in Isak's pockets early in the morning.

> _These are like the softest, and warmest mittens ever. You'll never want to take them off after you try them on, and you'll never forget them :) Saw them the other day at the store and thought of you_
> 
> _Have a nice day, baby_
> 
> _I love you, always_

 

**December 7th**

 

Even finds this customizable mug on which you can draw with a chalk, and he thinks it's the absolute coolest mug he's ever seen.

He kisses Isak goodbye as he's heading out, but before he leaves, he stops by the kitchen, writes  _ISAK+EVEN_ on the mug, places it and the chalk next to the coffee machine. 

> _You're now the proud owner of the actual best mug in the world, can you believe that?_
> 
> _You can draw or write whatever you want on it by the way, I just thought this was a nice way to inaugurate it :)_
> 
> _Have a beautiful day, you beautiful person_
> 
> _Love, Even_  

Isak is still studying at Sana's when he gets home. He goes to the kitchen to grab something to eat, and he sees the mug by the sink. Their names are still written on it, but now there's also a large heart surrounding them.

He smiles at it for a good five seconds

 

**December 8th**

 

Even revels in the way Isak massages shampoo into his hair, leans his head back into his touch. The water is just hot enough, and he can feel his muscles relax and he wishes he could prolong the moment and not have to get out.

When the shampoo is rinsed out of his hair, he lets his forehead rest against Isak's, and then he starts kissing his lips, and Isak kisses back, lips wet and warm. And then he's kissing the corner of his mouth, and then his cheek, and that spot below his ear, and down his neck, and his collar bone, and his nipple, and—

"Hey, hey, where are you going?"

"I'm giving you today's treat," he says.

A pause.

"Even, I'm gonna be late," he almost whispers the words and there's no firmness to them, like he's not actually trying to sound convincing.

"You won't be," Even tells him, as he keeps trailing kisses down his chest.

And then Isak doesn't reply, and when Even kneels down, Isak's fingers are back into his hair, pulling him toward him, and Even's name has never sounded better than when Isak chants it like this. 

> _So. I hope you weren't actually late :)_
> 
> _Have a nice day baby_
> 
> _Love you_
> 
> _(and your dick)_
> 
> _(mostly you <3)_

 

**December 9th**

 

The first time Even had dragged Isak to a thrift shop, Isak had seemed a little out of his element.

"There are so many treasures to be found in here, honestly," Even had assured him. Most of the movies and books and posters Even had ever bought were from here.  

Isak had glanced around the place, his eyes suspicious, before saying "Sure" with an unconvinced nod.

A few minutes later, Even had found Isak with a small book in hand, and he had suddenly felt very curious, especially when he had seen the name Tarjei Vesaas on the front cover.

"Didn't peg you as a Norwegian literature enthusiast," he had said.

Isak had kept flipping the pages of the little book. "No, it's just—" He had finally seemed to have found what he was looking for. "This one poem."

"A poem?"

Isak had nodded.

"What about it?"

"It's my favorite."

 _Isak has a favorite poem_. The thought had made him smile. That along with the fact that he had discovered something new about him that day. Even was always glad to find out more about Isak, to discover all these little things that made him exactly who he was, who Even was in loved with.

Today, Even draws two little islands, and writes the lines of the poem between them, curved upward like a bridge connecting them.

Even is not—

He's not always the best with words. And it seems easier, sometimes, to keep quiet, to bury and suppress and to not  _say_. Except it's not, expect it's darker, and lonelier, and the words sit heavy when unspoken and the island starts to sink away from the others and Isak—

Isak helps make the words come out of him easier, and Even hopes,  _hopes_ , that he's able to help do the same for him, that he's good enough at reciprocating. 

> _You're my favorite island, and you deserve to be surrounded by the nicest islands, always_
> 
> _Let's keep building bridges toward each other, yeah?_
> 
> _I love you so much_

  

**December 10th**

 

Isak's face is probably Even's favorite thing to draw, and he's lost count of the number of times he's drawn it a long, long time ago.

Today, he drew Isak and himself facing each other, foreheads pressed together. There's a speaking bubble next to him, in which he writes  _I love you_. It takes him a moment before he starts tracing a bubble next to Isak, before he writes down  _I love you too_ , in his.

Sometimes, he still has a hard time believing that somehow, he got lucky enough to find someone like Isak to love, to find someone like Isak who loves him back. That they’ve been together for a whole year now.

 _Isak and Even, in this universe,_ he writes on top of the drawing.

> _Dearest Isak,_
> 
> _There might be countless versions of Isaks and Evens in countless universes, but I don't think that any of them can hold a candle to Isak and Even in this universe. I know for sure that there's no other version of Isak that I could love more than the one I’ve been lucky enough to have by my side for a whole year now_
> 
> _I love you, the Isak in my universe_

 

**December 11th**

 

Isak loves the stars. Even figured out that he did the first night they had spent together, after they had broken into someone's house and swam (and kissed) in their pool, and Even had noticed that his phone's background was a picture of a starry sky.

Even loves to paint, although he hasn't for a while. But he got this idea not too long ago, while Isak was stargazing—he'll stand on their balcony, sometimes, even during the colder nights, just to take a look at the stars. Even had joined him that one night, and they had stood next to each other in a comfortable silence. Even had mostly watched Isak look at sky, and Isak had caught him at some point, had smiled sweetly at him and had laced their arms together.

The painting is on Isak's side of the bed when he gets home.

"Where did you get this?" Isak is holding it in his hands, mouth hanging slightly open as he looks at it.

Even makes painting motions with his hand, and Isak's eyes go a little wide. "You  _painted_ this?"

He nods. It makes him so happy in this moment, how surprised and impressed Isak seems to be.  

Isak puts the painting down, and the next thing Even knows, he's wrapping his arms around him and squeezing him tight. "You're so amazing, so fucking amazing and talented." Isak inhales deeply, his cheek resting against his shoulder. "You don't have to do all of this for me," he whispers.

Even squeezes him back for a second. "I want to," he tells him because he does, he does.

And then Isak's hands are cupping his cheeks, and he kisses him slow soft and Even lets out a sigh.

"I almost painted your face on there, you know?" he says against his mouth.

"Hm?"

"Yeah because you're..." He pauses to brush his nose against Isak's. "A star."

Isak lets out a small squeal and shakes his head. "Even, no."

"What?"

"That's so cheesy."

Even wiggles his eyebrows. "You love it."

And Isak just kisses him again, his way of saying  _I do_. 

> _The stars used to scare me a little, because of how immense they are, and how many of them there are, and how incredibly small we are in comparison. They felt so distant, and out of reach. But you_ _told me once about how the atoms that make up our bodies come from the stars. That the stars are in you and me and everything around us. They don't feel so distant and out of reach anymore_
> 
> _You help make me feel like I belong in this world, you know? like I'm a part of it_
> 
> _And I can't think of anything that I love more than us being part of this world together_

 

**December 12th**

 

There's this bakery they discovered a few months back, and Isak's favorite thing to order from there is their pistachio croissant. They haven't been in a while, though.

Isak protests when Even leaves their bed too early in the morning, and when he's back, Isak is sitting up, face still a little puffy from sleep. "Where'd you go?" his voice is a little hoarse as he rubs his eyes, and Even can't help but smile, because Isak is just so endearing in the morning.

He lifts the brown bag he's holding in his hand and Isak frowns. He stretches out his arms before he gets out of bed, and then Even is handing him the bag, and when he opens it, his entire face lights up.

Isak convinces him to eat breakfast in bed simply by interlacing his fingers with his and telling him "Come on, please." And so they do, and when they're done eating, Isak rests his head against Even's chest. And Even wraps an arm around him, strokes lines up and down his spine with the tip of his fingers, until it's actually time for them to get ready to leave.

> _They say that a good breakfast is a good way to start the day_
> 
> _But having a good breakfast with you is the best way to start the day :)_
> 
> _I love you (more than you love those pistachio croissants) (which I know is a lot) (so that tells you just how much I do :))_

 

**December 13th**

 

Isak has this big chemistry test that he's been studying for for the past two weeks, one he keeps saying he's absolutely not ready for. Isak doesn't get as stressed out about school as he used to, but he still wants to maintain good grades, and apparently this one teacher is known for his very tricky exams, and Isak seems genuinely afraid he might not do well at all.

Even places a pencil and a note in Isak's bag the night before.

> _This is a lucky pencil, and if you write with it, you're for sure going to do well_
> 
> _How does it work? it's very simple: you just have to be the one holding it_
> 
> _I’ll always believe in you baby, no matter what. I hope you know that_
> 
> _Love love love you_

When Isak comes back home, Even doesn't ask him how the test went, wants to let Isak bring up the subject only if he feels like it.

Even is peeling potatoes for diner and his  _chilling at home_ playlist is playing on his laptop. Isak wraps his arms around him, kisses the back of his neck, nuzzles the exposed skin of his shoulder while humming along to  _Ivy_ by Frank Ocean, the song that just came on.

"It worked," he says after a moment, and he sneaks a hand under Even's shirt, and it's warm and familiar against his stomach. "The pencil."

Even smiles, looks at Isak from the corner of his eyes. "Never doubted that it would."

 

**December 14th**

 

Isak's nose becomes a little runny when it's cold, and he'll continuously sniffle when he's outside. It's quite an endearing sight, but Even can imagine how annoying it can get.

That morning, he puts a small pack of tissues and a note in the pocket of Isak's coat.  

> _Oh, did you need some tissue paper?_
> 
> _(Okay, fine, you can roll your eyes)_
> 
> _You know, the first thing I thought after telling you this when we finally met was something like “Great job, Even, there's no way he's going to follow you outside now."  I mean, you should've see the look on your face._
> 
> _And look at us now :)_
> 
> _I’m so glad you gave me a chance_
> 
> _I love you (and your adorable nose)_

 

**December 15th**

 

Today is just...it's one of those days. Isak leaves early for school, kisses his forehead before he does, and when Even opens his eyes to tell him goodbye, the little smile on his lips doesn't reach them.

He's just—

He's just a little too tired, and everything just seems a little too tiring, and gravity feels stronger, today. It's not that everything seems so dark, but it's just a little grey and hazy, and he sort of just wants to go back to sleep, and wake up tomorrow, wants to know—

He wants to know that he won't be feeling this way the next day.

He only has a four hours shift, but right now it seems like a lot, those four hours, and getting ready for those four hours. But he can do it, and he will—he will. He doesn't want to call in sick just because it's one of those days.

He's  _not._

He's still tired when he comes back home, even more so than when he left. He hangs his coat and takes off his boots, heads toward their bed, but then he sees his guitar resting against the wall, and  _shit_ , he remembers.

He was supposed to write a little song for Isak today, that was the plan and he can't just not do it, he's supposed to give this to Isak today and—

Maybe if he just takes a nap, he'll think of something good.

But he's tired, his mind is.

He can't  _think_  of something good.

And then Isak is coming home, and he's kissing his temple, and running his fingers through his hair, brushing the strands from his forehead. He tells him he's going to make pasta, and his voice is soft and loving, and Even just nods, and he knows that Isak knows that it's one of those days. And it's during moments like this that he wonders if someone like him deserves someone like Isak, and the answer leans more toward no than yes.

They eat and Isak tells him about his day without Even having to ask him to, smiles at him when their eyes meet.

And then Even is resting his head on Isak's chest as they watch a couple of episodes of  _The Office._ Even doesn't really pay attention to the screen. 

"It was supposed to be a song."

"Hm?"

"Today's surprise was supposed to be a song."

"Hey," Isak kisses the top of his head. "Don't you even worry about that, okay?" 

Isak holds him a little tighter, and Even allows himself to breathe him in.  

Later, when Even comes back from the bathroom, he finds Isak sitting at the edge of their bed, holding his guitar. He smiles when he sees Even, and pats the mattress next to him.

"What are you doing?" Even asks in a whisper.

"Today's surprise is a song," he replies softly.

Even bites the inside of his cheek. "From me to you."

"Or from me to you, or from us together." Even simply stands there. "I love you, come here."

He sits next to Isak and Isak starts playing a few random chords. He turns his head toward Even, pecks him on the cheek. "We're a team, you and me, remember?" 

After moment, Even nods.

"I know a boy named Even," Isak begins to sing. "He's wonderful and beautiful and the most amazing boyfriend." He's singing completely out of tune. "I love him so much and he's the best thing in my life, he makes me happy and I hope he knows that."

Isak hums and eventually stops playing, sets the guitar aside.

"Grammy worthy, no?"

Even actually huffs out a small, quiet laugh. "Single of the year."

Isak grins. "Number one across the world."

When they go to bed, Even's back is pressed to Isak's chest, Isak's arm draped over his stomach. He's warm, and comfortable, and  _here_ , and Even's eyelids are heavy when he closes them, and at least—at least this is how one of these days comes to an end.

Even curves his shoulders forward and Isak's body molds itself around his, and they fit, like they always do.

He couldn't have hoped for a better teammate in this life.

 

**December 16th**

 

It's a better day, today. A quiet Saturday, with a morning spent wrapped up with each.

"Hey," Isak greets him, gorgeous under the sunlight. "I love you."

"Hey, love you too."

Even notices an eyelash on Isak's cheekbone, and he gently presses his thumb there to remove it.

"Make a wish," he tells him, and Isak huffs a laugh, smiles at Even with his eyes before closing them as he makes a wish. He gently blows on Even thumb, and then takes his hand in his.

"I had this dream," he says as he starts tracing his knuckles. "We were in Italy, and we stayed next to, eh, you know—where they grow grapes for wine?"

"A vineyard?"

"Yeah, that. And I liked wine for some reason?"

"You? Liking wine?"

" _Right_?" Isak chuckles.

He brings Even's hand to his mouth, softly kisses the back of it.  "It was so nice, though. And beautiful, and sunny, and warm, but not too hot, you know?"

"It's nice when it's hot, though," Even teases. "Then you're shirtless all the time."

Isak rolls his eyes, but he kisses his hand again, one, two, three times.

 

He forbids Isak from entering the kitchen as he cooks diner. 

"Okay, don't look at the table," he tells Isak.

"Even, the table is basically in our bedroom."

"Then turn around, watch something on your phone, close your eyes—I don't know!"

Isak lets out an exasperated sigh, turns around, lies on his side and faces the wall.

Even claps his hands when he's done setting up the table. He cooked some spaghetti carbonara, which is Isak's favorite, filled two wine glasses with beer and lit up a few assorted candles at the centre of the table.

"Okay, close your eyes, I'm gonna guide you over to your seat," he tells Isak.

Isak keeps his eyes closed as Even takes his hands in his until they reach Isak's chair. 

"It smells so good," he almost moans as he inhales. "Can I look now?"

"Just a sec," Even says, before pressing play on this  _Romantic instrumental Italian music_ video that is both random and exactly what he was looking for. "Okay, now you can."

Isak is frowning as he opens his eyes, but then his eyebrows shoot high as he takes in the sight in front of him. And then he's giggling, crinkles appearing at the corners of his eyes, and there's this light in them, not exactly from the candles' reflection. And when their eyes meet, Even thinks of how lucky he is to witness it.

> _I’d love to travel the world with you. There are so many places to explore and things to experience and I think it'd be nice, so nice, to do it all with you_
> 
> _Maybe we'll go to Italy like you dreamed of last night, and it'll be sunny and we'll see all these beautiful views. But, you know, right now you're sitting in our home reading this note and I’m looking at you and I’m thinking "That's a beautiful view, too"_
> 
> _I love you, always_

Isak looks up from the note, his lips slightly parted. "Fuck, I love you too," he says, and it comes out breathless.

Even  _would_  love to travel the world with this boy, thinks he could go anywhere, really, as long as it’s with him.

 

**December 17th**

 

There are two small heart-shaped massage bars waiting on their bed when they get home. Even nods towards them and at first Isak frowns, but he takes one of them, brings it to his nose and smells it. He make a short sound of approval, and then he brings it to his mouth and  _wait, no!_

Even quickly grabs his wrist, stops him right before he's about to take a bite.

"Uh?"

"Isak that's not  _food_."

"It's not?"

Even bites the inside of his lip, amused, and he shakes his head. "They're massage bars."

Isak cocks his head to the side, a questioning look on his face.

"They melt at body temperature," Even explains.

" _Oh_."

"Go lie on your stomach," Even softly instructs.

Isak's eyes go from him, to the bed, and then back to him. He shakes his head. "No, I wanna do you first."

Even almost protests, because this is supposed to be  _Isak_ 's treat, something for him to enjoy. But as he stands there, Isak grabs the hem of Even's shirt, and slowly begins to lift it off. He holds his gaze, and Isak smiles a smile that's warm and loving, and Even has to lift his arms up, and let him take his shirt off, has to go lie on the bed like Isak is asking him to.

He really, really wants to.

Isak's hands feel amazing on him, but then again they always do. He runs the bar all over his back and shoulders, allowing it to melt on his skin. And then he begins pressing the heels of his hands into his lower back, gliding them upward. He repeats the movement, starts kneading the muscles, and Even only then realizes how tensed some have them been.

Even lets out a quiet moan despite himself. He can hear the sounds coming out of him, as well as Isak's heavy breathing, feels like he’s melting into the mattress as Isak massages the tension out of him.

And then Isak runs his hands up his back, and then down his arms. He's not really applying any pressure anymore, mostly caressing his skin. 

"You're so fucking perfect," Isak leans in and whispers the words close to his ear, and Even feels shivers run through him.

So, here’s the thing—

Giving and receiving a massage is a turn on, they soon find out (and,  _really_ , Even should've at least suspected that it  _would_ be.)

And so the next minute it’s Isak’s lips that are on his back instead of his hands, and he’s taking his own shirt off. And then they’re getting undressed, a little rushed and uncoordinated, and Even hears “I want you, I want you, I want you” and he’s not sure whose mouth it came from.

When Even is inside Isak, it's good, it's so fucking good, like it always is. Because it's them. And it's the best, when it's them. 

They face each other when they're finished, slowly catching their breath.

"I wanna do you," Even says, remembering that he still hasn't actually given Isak his massage.

"You already did," Isak teases, and Even can't stop the quiet laugh that escapes him. "You can give me a massage tomorrow," he adds with a yawn, and then his eyes are fluttering shut. "Love you."

“Okay, love you too," Even replies, before closing his eyes as well. 

> _Can you believe we've been together all this time and I’ve never given you a proper massage?_   _Hopefully I'll do a decent job :)_
> 
> _I only ever want you to feel good, baby_
> 
> _Love you, always_

 

**December 18th**

 

They'll only get to go to his parents' cabin after New Year's Eve, and they probably won't get to spend that much time alone outside of their bedroom there, and so in the meantime—

In the meantime, Even finds this little woodsy scented candle that he lights up before Isak gets home. He switches off the lights, sets up a video of a fireplace on their television.

When Isak gets home, he looks at their dim lighted apartment, breathes in the smell, and when he finds Even on their bed, he shoots him a look that's both questioning and pleasantly surprised.  

He takes off his boots and coat and scarf and heads towards the bed, lets out an amused laugh when he notices the fireplace playing on the television.

Isak sighs as he fits himself into Even's arms. "Where's the smell from?" he asks.

"A candle," Even tells him, running his fingers through Isak's hair, and Isak sighs again, against Even's neck, and then he kisses the skin there.

"I love how creative you are." Another kiss, closer to his jaw, and then a smile.

There's warmth spreading through Even's stomach, floating up to his heart. He gently squeezes Isak's shoulder, strokes it with his thumb.

"I need to go get something," he whispers, and Isak protests, argues that he  _just_ got here, but Even tells him he'll be back in just a bit, kisses the top of his head and Isak reluctantly lets him go.

He goes to the kitchen, places a few marshmallows on two wooden sticks and grills them over their stovetop. He comes back and finds Isak sitting up with a pillow behind his back.

"So, I thought this might turn into a total disaster, but it actually worked," he announces, and Isak turns his head toward him, an eyebrow crooked but a smile on his lips as well, and his hair is uncombed and there's a little curl sticking out next to his ear, and he's wearing Even's hoodie, and if this isn't the most inviting sight, then Even doesn't know what is.

They eat the marshmallows and it's a bit of a mess, and there's some that sticks to Isak's bottom lip. So Even holds his chin and licks it until it's gone and Isak giggles as he does and oh, it's heaven in his mouth.

They have diner and then Isak quickly goes over his biology notes in preparation for his last test tomorrow morning, while Even decides to work on a script he started writing earlier this month.

"I so got this," Isak says.

"You do."

And then they're cuddling, talking about nothing and everything until sleep starts to take over them and none of what they're saying makes that much sense anymore. Even forces himself to get up and blow off the candle, but the smell lingers in the air for a little while. When he's back in bed, he's met with Isak's arms pulling him close, and he falls asleep enveloped by his warmth.

> _Hey hey you,_
> 
> _I’m thinking, cuddling with you in front of a fireplace would be the nicest thing_
> 
> _(but then again, cuddling with you is nice anywhere)_
> 
> _Thank you for being better at keeping me warm than any fireplace_
> 
> _I love you Isak_

 

**December 19th**

 

Isak's hands start to become a little dry during the colder months, and although Even's own hands are rarely ever dry, he knows how uncomfortable it can get.

They're getting ready for Jonas' birthday party, taking a shower together. Even washes Isak's back, takes more time than is necessary and Isak just leans his head forward as Even cleans the body wash off his shoulders with warm water. When he's done, he kisses him right between his shoulder blades.

He also takes his time cleaning Isak's hair, massaging his scalp, gently scratching the way he knows Isak loves. He can see him melt under his touch, his shoulders slacking, Even's hands holding up his head more than his neck is.

And then he gets this silly, silly idea.

He takes the foam from the shampoo and starts patting it all over his cheeks and chin.

"Isak," he calls, and Isak turns around. "Ho, ho, ho!"

Isak side eyes him, takes the shower head and directs it towards Even's face.  "I'm so, so not showering with  _Santa_."

Even tries to shield the foam beard with his hands, in vain.  "Oh no, my true identity is revealed now!"

"Shut up," Isak laughs.

They pat themselves dry with towels, and then Even grabs the tube of hand cream from the counter.

"I went to the pharmacy and asked for, like, their best hand cream," he tells Isak. He pops the cap open, squirts a dollop of cream onto the tip of his fingers. "Gimme your hands."

Isak's expression softens. "Baby," he sighs, holding out his hands.

Even carefully rubs the cream into Isak's hands, covers all of his fingers with it.

And then they're at Jonas' party, celebrating both his birthday and the end of the semester. And Isak's hands—  

Even feels them the whole night. There's a hand holding his on the bus on the way there, a hand on his cheek as they kiss, on the back of his neck, two hands on his hips as they they dance, for fun, uncoordinated and tipsy and happy. Hands roaming over his bare chest and back when they get home later, and Even is straddling him on their bed.

> _I love your hands_
> 
> _I love your hands in mine, and on me_
> 
> _And how they always know how to touch me_
> 
> _I love your hands_
> 
> _And I love you_
> 
> _And I think the reason why I love them so much, really_
> 
> _Is because they're a part you_

 

**December 20th**

 

They sleep in late this morning.

Isak groans when he first opens his eyes, and closes them right after. "I had, like, four drinks," he mumbles into his pillow.

Even only had two beers last night, and he's feeling a lot more energized than Isak. He breathes out a laugh, buries his fingers in Isak's hair and strokes his forehead with his thumb. "Multiply that by two."

"Not maths," Isak whines, pouting.

Even chuckles. "Okay, okay, no maths." Isak's bottom lip is sticking out a little, and Even wants to touch it, and so he does, just because he can. Isak lazily pecks his fingers.

Even watches him some more. Once again, just because.

He's making him his favorite mocha cupcakes today, and right now as Isak is still getting some rest, is just the perfect time to. And so he heads to the kitchen, prepares the batter and bakes the cupcakes, whips up the frosting and puts it in the fridge for later.

He then prepares actual breakfast, eggs and toast and some ginger tea for Isak's headache. He puts everything on a tray and heads back to bed.

"Hey, sleepy head," he says softly.

Isak smiles at him sweetly.

It's early in the afternoon when Even goes back to the kitchen to decorate the cupcakes. He puts three of them on a plate, writes  _treat yo self_ on them and snickers to himself. 

> _Okay, so I remembered after writing the words on the cupcakes that you've never watched parks and recs and you probably won't get the reference_
> 
> _(scandalous, honestly)_
> 
> _You do really deserve to treat yourself, baby_
> 
> _Love you_

Isak rolls his eyes as he starts reading the note, but he smiles nonetheless. "Let's do that," he says, dipping the tip of his finger into the frosting on the cupcake, and bringing it to his mouth. "Let's just stay in here today, and watch that show."

"Let's do that," Even agrees.

Isak dips his finger again, but directs it to Even's mouth this time, and Even takes his time sucking it off.

"You're terrible," Isak giggles.

"I'm terrible?" Even gasps.

Isak cradles his face, and kisses him. "The worst," he says against his mouth, but he sounds, and tastes sweet.

 

**December 21st**

 

Isak decides to buy this gorgeous vase as a Christmas gift for his mother.

"She really loves flowers, you know? Like, she'd always grow a garden in the summer and everything. It'll fit in the living room there, no?"

Even wraps an arm around Isak's shoulders, kisses his temple. "She's gonna love it," he whispers.

He's happy to have witnessed Isak slowly, step by step, rekindle his relationship with his mother throughout the past year. Even loves his own mother so much, can't imagine a life without her in it, and he wishes for Isak to be able to maintain a loving relationship with his mom. It's not always simple and without complications, but he's glad to see them getting there. At the end of the day, he really can tell that they love each other when he sees them together.

Even had planned on getting Isak a small bouquet of flowers at some point this month, and today is just the perfect day.

He asks Isak to wait for him outside the florist shop, hides the bouquet behind his back.

Isak smirks. "I  _so_  wonder what you could possibly be hiding behind your back right now."

"Oh, just flowers for our neighbors."

"For our neighbors, really?"

"Yeah, we have to maintain a good relationship with them and all."

Isak presses a hand to Even's chest. "Stop bullshitting me."

Even opens his mouth in mock consternation. "You really think  _I_  would do that?"

Isak shakes his head and is about to turn around, but Even puts his hand on his shoulder, and shows him the bouquet.

"For my favorite neighbor," he says. "Bed neighbor."

"Fuck," Isak laughs. "I love you."

> _Roses are red_
> 
> _Violets are blue_
> 
> _You're more beautiful than all these flowers combined_
> 
> _And I love you_
> 
> _ps: told you I’d get you an actual flower to put in your hair :)_

Even doesn't expect him to actually do this right now, but he picks one of the smaller flowers from the bouquet, tucks it behind his ear. He keeps it there all the way home, and during the rest of the day.  

 

**December 22nd**

 

Isak is a dog lover, just like Even is, and they'll randomly show each other funny and endearing clips of dogs they stumble upon. Isak used to have a dog, Lea, who sadly passed away a few years ago, and he'll sometimes bring up stories about her, about her favorite toys and how she was this big labrador but she'd for some reason get scared of small balloons, about how loving and playful she was and how he would never feel judged by her, back then.

Today, Even gets him this adorable big eyed stuffed puppy. He comes home and hides his face with it, starts making little barking noises as he approaches Isak on the bed.

When he moves it away from his face, his eyes are met with a beaming Isak.

"It's so cute," he says, grinning.

"Isn't it?"

> _So, I just had to you get this_
> 
> _(seriously, look at its face)_
> 
> _Let's get a dog you and me one day, yeah?_
> 
> _Love you baby_

Isak smiles at the note, the plush puppy on his lap. He takes Even’s hand, interlaces their fingers. "I'd love to get a dog with you," he tells him.

 

**December 23rd**

 

Isak browses through his computer that morning as Even completes the little flip book.

He draws their first kiss, when their lips finally met underwater. Even remembers how happy he had been, back then, how much of a relief it had been, to get to kiss a boy and to be kissed back, to get to kiss  _this_ boy, at last. How it had not just been okay to do so, how it had been perfect. And how right it had felt—how right it still feels, up to this day.

Even slumps on the bed next to Isak, and pecks his forehead. He hands him the flipbook, at the end of which he wrote today's note. He attentively watches Isak's face as he flips through it, sees his eyes widening a little, and the smile that spreads across his face.

> _No shade aimed at Lurhmann, but our underwater kiss was the actual best_
> 
> _You know, I used to think that love stories had to end tragically in order to be epic_
> 
> _Thank you for proving to me that they don't_
> 
> _That they don't even have to end at all_
> 
> _That, in fact, it's best if they don't_
> 
> _I love you_

Isak inhales deeply and bites his lip when he's done. He turns his head and there's tenderness in his eyes when they meet Even's, and he brings his hand to Even's cheek, just looks into his eyes for a little while. He leans in, kisses him, his lips lingering against Even's.

"I love you," he whispers into his mouth, and Even swallows the words. "I love kissing you."

"I love kissing you too," he tells Isak. "And you." Another kiss. "I love you."

 

**December 24th**

 

They're celebrating Christmas Eve at Isak's parents' place, which is a first for Isak in three years.

"It's gonna go well," he tells Even, and Even has lost count of how many times he's said those exact words today. Isak is putting on his tie in front of the mirror, or at least he's attempting to.

"Jesus, this fucking—" He quickly unwraps the tie from around his neck, and Even sees his hand form a fist around it.  

Even walks up to him, wraps his arms around his stomach. Isak tenses up at first, but he quickly relaxes into Even's hold.

"You don't have to put on a tie, baby. They'll just be happy to see you," he whispers. "Turn around with me."

They turn away from the mirror and face their table instead, on which Even placed a little hourglass.

"What's that?" Isak asks, picking it up.

"It's a one minute hourglass," he explains. "For when we just want to think about the next minute."

Isak puts his other hand on Even's forearm, holds onto it. "That's so nice," he whispers, and Even hears him swallow. He nuzzles his hair, kisses him there.

"You're the nicest," Even replies, and he could've made it sound playful and corny, but he doesn't. He really means the words, and in this moment he wants Isak to know that he does. "Let's take a minute to breathe, yeah?"

"Okay," Isak nods. He puts the hourglass down on the table, and then he takes a deep breath, and Even breathes with him. They simply stand like this, breathing in tandem, and Even closes his eyes as he rests his chin on Isak's shoulder.

When he opens them again, the minute has passed. "Better?"

Isak turns around, wraps his arms around Even's neck and his lips pull up into a small smile. "Better," he agrees. He threads his fingers into Even's hair. "What should for the next minute, now?”

"We should make out."

Isak's smile widens. "Classic."

"Sometimes you gotta stick to the good old classics," Even shrugs.

And so they make-out, slow and gentle at first, but then Even deepens the kiss and Isak lets him, moaning into his mouth. And then, unexpectedly, he pulls away.

Isak lets out a sound of protest, chases his lips again, but Even turns his head to the side.

" _Even_."

Even chuckles. "I'm sorry, but time's up."

Isak rolls his eyes. He takes the hourglass again, flips it and sets it back on the table. "It's not. Kiss me."

And so Even does. 

> _You know, there are 1440 minutes in a day_
> 
> _And I've been aware of your existence for 490 days_
> 
> _Which equals, according to my handy phone calculator, to 705 600 minutes_
> 
> _There hasn't been a single of these minutes when I wasn't glad to know that you existed in the same world as me_
> 
> _This world is lucky to have you, Isak Valtersen, and so am I_
> 
> _I love you, and every minute I get to spend with you_

"I'm so glad you're here with me," Isak tells him later, as they walk up to the front door of his parents' house. And it's spontaneous, and Even can tell that it’s sincere by the look on his face, by the way he squeezes his hand.

It's hard for Even to accept people's love. When they let him know that they appreciate him, sometimes his instinct response is to think that they're wrong for choosing this, for choosing him, that's he's really not a safe bet. But with Isak—

It doesn’t always come naturally to him, and sometimes he still hesitates and he  _doubts._ But it's getting easier, day by day, to accept his love.

Isak is about to knock on the door, but stops. "No matter what happens in there," he begins, and there's a smile, and love, in his eyes. "You've already made this year's Christmas the best I’ve ever had.”

And it's during moments like this that Even wonders if someone like him deserves someone like Isak, and the answer—

The answer leans more toward yes than no. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you if you read this, i really do appreciate it. do let me know what you thought, if you feel like it?
> 
> i hope the holidays have been good for you all so far, and i wish you a happy new year in advance 
> 
> you can find me on tumblr [here](http://skamz.tumblr.com) :)


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